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godless_sonTwo weeks ago Castiel had been sure, at least for a little while, that this was not going to happen. The difference between knowing about your fiance's massacre and seeing it in full screen is very different, but Dean is forgiving and he is a good partner and as Castiel tries and fails yet again to make his hair lie flat, he decides not to include that particular tidbit in his vows.
Everything is reportedly set up, thanks to Mike and Neil, and he can hear the murmurs of the guests walking through the house to the backyard where the tables, chairs, and food await. The documents are signed, he and Dean having chosen to do that in private yesterday after Castiel's last class but the vows are different, he feels. Neither of them are terribly verbally demonstrative but he hopes very much that his are deemed appropriate. He carefully slips on his jacket, knowing that Robin will have words for him if it's not kept neat for at least the vows and fusses with the blue tie and pocket square that he'd been warned by Robin was not to be utilized for any rag-like purposes. Letting out a steady breath he stares at his reflection, at the very human looking man about to engage in a human ceremony with the Righteous Man he pulled from Hell. He frowns, head tilting as he looks for himself in all of that, for the thousands of years old warrior of the Lord with the wrath of Heaven behind him and decides he rather prefers the version that is still having trouble keeping his hair neat and whose biggest worry of the day is avoiding embarrassing himself during the vows. It is very strange and Heaven will never forgive him for it and he could not be happier.
He gives the stubborn curl spring up in front of his ear a furious swipe with his thumb and checks once more that Dean's ring is in his pocket before stepping out across the hallway to knock on their door. "Dean," he murmurs, "Are you ready?"
Dean feels half strangled by the tie. Long gone are the days disguises and aliases were needed - the last tie he bothered to throw around his neck is probably years past, but this is his wedding, and he means to look nice.
“Yeah,” he calls, adjusting the green silk at his throat a last, futile time. “Just.” He releases it with a sigh. He knows himself well enough to know he’s only nervous, and he passes a hand through his combed hair and takes a few deep breaths before he turns to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob.
“Am I supposed to see you? Is that a thing?”
Everything is reportedly set up, thanks to Mike and Neil, and he can hear the murmurs of the guests walking through the house to the backyard where the tables, chairs, and food await. The documents are signed, he and Dean having chosen to do that in private yesterday after Castiel's last class but the vows are different, he feels. Neither of them are terribly verbally demonstrative but he hopes very much that his are deemed appropriate. He carefully slips on his jacket, knowing that Robin will have words for him if it's not kept neat for at least the vows and fusses with the blue tie and pocket square that he'd been warned by Robin was not to be utilized for any rag-like purposes. Letting out a steady breath he stares at his reflection, at the very human looking man about to engage in a human ceremony with the Righteous Man he pulled from Hell. He frowns, head tilting as he looks for himself in all of that, for the thousands of years old warrior of the Lord with the wrath of Heaven behind him and decides he rather prefers the version that is still having trouble keeping his hair neat and whose biggest worry of the day is avoiding embarrassing himself during the vows. It is very strange and Heaven will never forgive him for it and he could not be happier.
He gives the stubborn curl spring up in front of his ear a furious swipe with his thumb and checks once more that Dean's ring is in his pocket before stepping out across the hallway to knock on their door. "Dean," he murmurs, "Are you ready?"
Dean feels half strangled by the tie. Long gone are the days disguises and aliases were needed - the last tie he bothered to throw around his neck is probably years past, but this is his wedding, and he means to look nice.
“Yeah,” he calls, adjusting the green silk at his throat a last, futile time. “Just.” He releases it with a sigh. He knows himself well enough to know he’s only nervous, and he passes a hand through his combed hair and takes a few deep breaths before he turns to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob.
“Am I supposed to see you? Is that a thing?”
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Date: 2014-10-03 12:38 am (UTC)"I have only been in possession of feelings, actual feelings and attempting to express them for a handful of years so forgive me if I don't say this correctly," he starts, opening his eyes to stare unblinkingly. "Dean, as you well know, I am very old. I have existed for longer than I can explain and for all but a handful of years I did not have an identity, not really. When I tried to have one, they took it away many times over and I never questioned it, any of it, until I first saw you. Everything changed for me the first time I laid eyes on you because you were so bright and so good despite all that had happened. You are still just as bright and good and I watch you try so hard where lesser men would have folded and I am in awe of you and I never knew," he falters for a moment, glancing over at their guests before looking back at Dean as he tries to compose himself.
"I never knew I had the capacity to care much less love. I wasn't supposed to. You changed that; you changed me for the better. I am supposed to be a force of celestial intent, immortal and powerful and lonely and a part of something incomprehensibly large but all I want is to be here, inhabiting this limited form. All I want is to live with you and grow old someday with you and to end life with you and be in our house and with our friends and learn every day that it's somehow possible to love you more than I had the day before. You are unspeakably good to me and I love you so much and I will spend the rest of our long life together trying to make sure you know that."
He stops there, a little breathless as he waits with eyes wide, looking to Dean to try and figure out if that was okay.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 08:54 pm (UTC)He might not be fully good, but he can't doubt that Castiel believes he is, or that the faith Cas has in him doesn't make him feel closer to worthy every day. "When we met," he says at length, "I didn't know who I was anymore. I'd forgotten what I wanted, why I wanted it, what it meant to be good. You pulled me out of Hell, and for a long time I thought that was the end of it. But the truth is, you've been leading me a little further out of Hell every day."
Dean swallows. "You turned away from everything you were supposed to do and be, and you never gave up on me, not even when I did over and over. You're the bravest, craziest, most stubborn being I've ever known, and sometimes I still can't believe that you love me. Sometimes I still can't believe that I get to love you back, but I do."
He smiles, voice so thick that he's not sure anyone besides Cas can even hear it anymore, but Cas is the only one he needs. "I don't need proof that you're gonna stick around, or that I'm gonna be by your side as long as I'm still kicking, but I'm happy to take it anyway."
Dean draws a breath, grin going lopsided as he looks to Cas and the crowd and back again. "Is that it? Are we hitched?"
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 09:27 pm (UTC)"We are hitched."
With that proclamation he grabs Dean's face between his hands and leans forward for a kiss, still a little shaky and overwhelmed and hoping someone else thought to at least get a few pictures of this.
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Date: 2014-10-03 09:42 pm (UTC)"Hey," he says, pulling back with a breathless laugh, reaching into his own breast pocket. "Gimme my ring, asshole."
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Date: 2014-10-03 09:47 pm (UTC)"I had it engraved, Enochian protection symbols on the inside, anti-possession and a host of other things," he starts to panic babble as he thrusts the plain band towards Dean. "This and that will help keep you safe," he says, pressing his free hand to the grace tucked underneath Dean's layers.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-03 10:12 pm (UTC)