Wedding

[godless_son]

Two weeks ago Castiel had been sure, at least for a little while, that this was not going to happen. The difference between knowing about your fiance's massacre and seeing it in full screen is very different, but Dean is forgiving and he is a good partner and as Castiel tries and fails yet again to make his hair lie flat, he decides not to include that particular tidbit in his vows.

Everything is reportedly set up, thanks to Mike and Neil, and he can hear the murmurs of the guests walking through the house to the backyard where the tables, chairs, and food await. The documents are signed, he and Dean having chosen to do that in private yesterday after Castiel's last class but the vows are different, he feels. Neither of them are terribly verbally demonstrative but he hopes very much that his are deemed appropriate. He carefully slips on his jacket, knowing that Robin will have words for him if it's not kept neat for at least the vows and fusses with the blue tie and pocket square that he'd been warned by Robin was not to be utilized for any rag-like purposes. Letting out a steady breath he stares at his reflection, at the very human looking man about to engage in a human ceremony with the Righteous Man he pulled from Hell. He frowns, head tilting as he looks for himself in all of that, for the thousands of years old warrior of the Lord with the wrath of Heaven behind him and decides he rather prefers the version that is still having trouble keeping his hair neat and whose biggest worry of the day is avoiding embarrassing himself during the vows. It is very strange and Heaven will never forgive him for it and he could not be happier.

He gives the stubborn curl spring up in front of his ear a furious swipe with his thumb and checks once more that Dean's ring is in his pocket before stepping out across the hallway to knock on their door. "Dean," he murmurs, "Are you ready?"

Dean feels half strangled by the tie. Long gone are the days disguises and aliases were needed - the last tie he bothered to throw around his neck is probably years past, but this is his wedding, and he means to look nice.

“Yeah,” he calls, adjusting the green silk at his throat a last, futile time. “Just.” He releases it with a sigh. He knows himself well enough to know he’s only nervous, and he passes a hand through his combed hair and takes a few deep breaths before he turns to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob.

“Am I supposed to see you? Is that a thing?”

Comments

[godless_son]

Castiel frowns and leans close to the door, wondering why on earth he made Dean do this particular tradition. "I think so, I look differently than I did an hour ago and I do not want to be walked out like a bride. I think we should walk outside together and then do the vows. Is that okay?"

[always_enduphere]

"Yeah," says Dean, "Okay." Still, it's a moment more before he opens the door to stare at Cas with wide, earnest eyes. "You got a pocket square," he says, smiling faintly. His own breast pocket holds the ring, and he'd have only fucked it up if he'd tried one of those anyway, but it looks nice on Cas.

"And your hair's all - " Dean waves a hand. "Smooth."

[godless_son]

"It took an enormous amount of effort and I'm not sure it will stay that way for long," he admits, looking completely besotted as he stares at Dean. Even more so than usual.

"I like your hair like that," he murmurs, leaning in for a careful kiss, still terrified to rumple anything. "You look wonderful. This is all...I am glad to be here with you. It's more than I ever expected."

[always_enduphere]

"You keep saying that." Wisely, too - Dean's never lived well under high expectations, lived worse in recent years than ever before, but the way Castiel says that, that Dean's enough, that Dean is more - it's just what he needs to feel that he might not fuck it up.

Reaching out, Dean doesn't know where to touch him, so he settles for brushing his fingertips against that pocket square. "You look good, too." Dean swallows carefully. "Are we set?"

[godless_son]

"Yes, yes I believe so," he says, glancing over his shoulder at the mostly corralled guests. He reaches his hand out for Dean's and lets out a shaky breath.

"We go out and I think we thank them for coming and then I can start the vows, if you'd like to go after? And then I think we kiss and then we make burgers."

[always_enduphere]

"Burgers, yeah," says Dean, remembering his after vows duty. He's been too nervous to eat, and even now he doesn't feel much at the mention of burgers, but he's sure to be ravenous when the ceremony is done. He takes Castiel's hand. "You go first," he agrees, mouth quirking. "Age before beauty."

[godless_son]

Castiel gives him a flat look before leading the way, squinting a little against the waning sun.

It looks lovely. Their guests are seated and well dressed and the lights he and Dean had strung through the trees and around the house are starting to be visible. He falters a bit as everyone turns to stare but he squeezes Dean's hand tightly and leads him up the center of the chairs, nodding at their friends and nervously smoothing down his tie.

"Hello," he murmurs as he reaches where he thinks they are supposed to stand.

[always_enduphere]

Dean's eyes are on Cas, right up to the moment they stop and he remember they're not alone, that their little backyard is fuller than it's ever been. There's not many in the way of guests, almost as few as to be counted on Dean's own hands, but they're the few that matter. In Dean's memories of the island, he knows that if this had happened there, there would be more, lots more, but Darrow isn't Tabula Rasa, and he's not that Dean. The friends he's made in Darrow have been hard won, the lot of them muscling past Dean's considerable defenses, and Dean feels a new soreness in his throat when he looks out at them.

He nods, too, less elegantly than Cas, and turns back to him, reaching for Castiel's other hand.

[godless_son]

Castiel clutches at Dean's hands, angling himself back to stare at wide, green eyes. He has to close his own for a moment, overwhelmed, before letting out a fortifying breath.

"I have only been in possession of feelings, actual feelings and attempting to express them for a handful of years so forgive me if I don't say this correctly," he starts, opening his eyes to stare unblinkingly. "Dean, as you well know, I am very old. I have existed for longer than I can explain and for all but a handful of years I did not have an identity, not really. When I tried to have one, they took it away many times over and I never questioned it, any of it, until I first saw you. Everything changed for me the first time I laid eyes on you because you were so bright and so good despite all that had happened. You are still just as bright and good and I watch you try so hard where lesser men would have folded and I am in awe of you and I never knew," he falters for a moment, glancing over at their guests before looking back at Dean as he tries to compose himself.

"I never knew I had the capacity to care much less love. I wasn't supposed to. You changed that; you changed me for the better. I am supposed to be a force of celestial intent, immortal and powerful and lonely and a part of something incomprehensibly large but all I want is to be here, inhabiting this limited form. All I want is to live with you and grow old someday with you and to end life with you and be in our house and with our friends and learn every day that it's somehow possible to love you more than I had the day before. You are unspeakably good to me and I love you so much and I will spend the rest of our long life together trying to make sure you know that."

He stops there, a little breathless as he waits with eyes wide, looking to Dean to try and figure out if that was okay.

[always_enduphere]

Dean squeezes Castiel's hands when he realizes he's done, heart beating fast in his chest. Castiel is rarely coy, and none of the things he's said haven't been blurted in some form or another at least once over the years, but this might be the first time Dean has let himself fully believe them.

He might not be fully good, but he can't doubt that Castiel believes he is, or that the faith Cas has in him doesn't make him feel closer to worthy every day. "When we met," he says at length, "I didn't know who I was anymore. I'd forgotten what I wanted, why I wanted it, what it meant to be good. You pulled me out of Hell, and for a long time I thought that was the end of it. But the truth is, you've been leading me a little further out of Hell every day."

Dean swallows. "You turned away from everything you were supposed to do and be, and you never gave up on me, not even when I did over and over. You're the bravest, craziest, most stubborn being I've ever known, and sometimes I still can't believe that you love me. Sometimes I still can't believe that I get to love you back, but I do."

He smiles, voice so thick that he's not sure anyone besides Cas can even hear it anymore, but Cas is the only one he needs. "I don't need proof that you're gonna stick around, or that I'm gonna be by your side as long as I'm still kicking, but I'm happy to take it anyway."

Dean draws a breath, grin going lopsided as he looks to Cas and the crowd and back again. "Is that it? Are we hitched?"

[godless_son]

"I think so," Castiel breathes, eyes bright as he wants very much not to cry in front of all of their friends. His chest hurts with how fiercely he loves Dean and how stupidly happy he is right now.

"We are hitched."

With that proclamation he grabs Dean's face between his hands and leans forward for a kiss, still a little shaky and overwhelmed and hoping someone else thought to at least get a few pictures of this.

[always_enduphere]

Dean fists his hands in Castiel's nice jacket and kisses him back, lost to anything that's not Castiel's hands or mouth for long moments, but then his hand closes around something hard beneath Castiel's pocket square.

"Hey," he says, pulling back with a breathless laugh, reaching into his own breast pocket. "Gimme my ring, asshole."

[godless_son]

"Oh dammit," he breathes against Dean's mouth, frowning out at their guests as he fumbles for the ring.

"I had it engraved, Enochian protection symbols on the inside, anti-possession and a host of other things," he starts to panic babble as he thrusts the plain band towards Dean. "This and that will help keep you safe," he says, pressing his free hand to the grace tucked underneath Dean's layers.

[always_enduphere]

"Good idea," says Dean, gently pulling Castiel's free hand away, holding the one with the ring loosely by the wrist. "Put it on my finger, huh? Then I'll do yours. Then we're as official as it gets."

[godless_son]

"Yes, right," he manages, still horribly embarrassed that he forgot the rings and carefully slides the ring onto the appropriate finger, pausing a moment to admire the sight before letting go to wait for his own.

[godless_son]

Castiel is married; he is now officially a Winchester. He knows he ought to make a concerted effort to mingle with their guests who came out to see them and support them but it is difficult to do much other than stare over at Dean as he 'mans the grill'.

He fiddles absently with his ring before taking a swig of his beer and lets out a careful breath. Everything went well, there were no disasters, he is married.

[jianhuo]

Saffron is pretty sure she's never been to a wedding quite like this one, small and haphazard in a charming sort of way. It fits the two men well, though, and she watches with a fond smile and Church seated beside her as one of the most important men in her life pledges himself to someone who's undoubtedly good for him, in many ways.

The gathering afterward is casual, with the small amount of guests, and Saffron of course has brought plenty of food to go around, both sides that pair well with the meat and a variety of desserts. She makes sure what she'd provided is set out and ready for folks to help themselves, then goes to find her boyfriend and a beer and enjoy the celebration.

[godless_son]

"Thank you for coming," Castiel announces, suddenly appearing next to Helen and thrusting a beer awkwardly into her personal space. "Also thank you for providing a large percentage of the food. I am not a good cook."

[always_enduphere]

"The way you're looking at me," calls Dean through the smoke, his eyes on the two fat patties he's about to flip, "Is making me wonder if I've got on a Kiss the Cook apron I don't know about. Bring your husband a beer, huh?"

[always_enduphere]

"Thanks for not letting us starve," says Dean as he arrives at her side, neck bent to kiss her cheek before he hands her a fresh beer. "Cas didn't trust me with more than burgers, and I didn't trust him not to try forcing quinoa down everybody's throats."

[godless_son]

Castiel tries to pull a face at being ordered around but fails miserably, still looking besotted as he trots over with cold bottle. Husband. It sounds wonderful and strangely domestic.

"I could get you an apron like that, if it would mean that we make out more often while you cook," he says, leaning in for said kiss.

[priorcommitment]

Ishiah has been busy in the weeks leading up to Castiel and Dean's wedding. Knowing that Robin will most likely prefer to bring the extravagant gift, Ishiah decides to try and offer up a present that can only be possible through his unique abilities. Peri are known for having particularly melodic voices, resonating at a frequency that makes wolves' eyes cross. Too in tune, too smooth in wavelength.

A type of voice that has always made it easy to get along with birds. And so he brings them to the wedding, birds of all colors and sizes, politely landing on the branches of nearby trees and chirping in song.

There are some birds with stubborn dispositions, who will inevitably wind up returning to their forests out of habit. But a few of the flightier, playful birds will linger in the months to come.

With a glass of beer in one hand, Ishiah stands and observes the horizon, pleased with the landscape painted for this particular wedding. It feels fitting.

[memoryisthekey]

I think I've been to more parties and weddings the last couple of months than I have my whole life. Is there anyone in this damn place you don't know?" Humor, the last refuge of a guy who's been silently freaking out the last hour or so. Maybe because I remember doing something like this, back then, back in his life and it still fucking hurts way more than I want it to. I mean, I know I said I'd forget her, but I didn't forget-forget her and that... I don't know how to deal with those feelings.

Especially not when I'm with her. With some one who makes me as happy as I was then, when we were... a family.

[godless_son]

Castiel's favorite assignments had always been his posts on Earth. Of the millions of souls he watched, on of his favorites had been St. Francis of Assisi. He loved watching the peaceful and reverent relationship he had with the animals, having always been more fond of them than he perhaps ought to have been. He'd always been thought of as a little soft for a soldier of the Lord but he loves his Father's creations.

If he convince Dean of it, they'd have the beginnings of a farm by now.

As such, it's with a delighted smile that he watches the birds, neck craned back to listen to them sing.

[contrition]

When Yukio first received the invitation to Dean and Castiel's wedding, he contemplated declining politely. Even though he grew up within the walls of a church, a wedding is something he's never had the opportunity to witness. He's not sure what one does at a wedding, other than the idealized versions he's sometimes read about in books, or watched on television. It seems so far beyond Yukio's world that he's afraid of imposing, of tracking his own shadows into a day that's meant to be nothing but bright and hopeful.

But, whether it's out of deference or the tightness in his chest at the thought of missing such an important occasion, Yukio shows up, dressed in a fine suit and with a fine leather case underneath his arm. It's filled with medicines, mostly a mix of herbal remedies and magic, each carefully concocted by Yukio himself. It may not compare to the healing abilities of an angel, but Yukio knows that Darrow is fickle with people's powers, and that simple medicine may be good to have around on a rainy day.

The discomfort lingers in Yukio's chest as he stares around at the other guests, all of them full of smiles, overjoyed for the happy couple. And Yukio knows that a part of him is also grateful that the two men standing up there are able to find this type of closeness in spite of the odds. What he doesn't have as much ability to explain are the couple of tears that slip free when the men share their vows. Yukio lowers his gaze, making his way to the side of the lawn when he gets the chance, trying to relax. His chest aches, and he doesn't want to admit to himself the source of the emotion.

He misses his father. And even now, he can imagine the very thing he'd say to Father Fujimoto, were he alive and around.

I hope that aniki can find this kind of happiness someday.