For Dean, Robin and Ishiah

[godless_son]

He hopes this goes well.

He is keeping his promise to Ishiah and that is important, he knows Ishiah will find that important. He is not, however, with Dean's encouragement, willing to go to the same extremes he would have only a few years ago. He must think of the city, yes, but first he must think of Dean. And he must, for the first time, think of himself. If things go wrong, and he must be controlled, he wants to find a way to fix it that does not end in a body count, including his own.

He tightens his grip on Dean's hand and knocks, hoping Robin is here as well. He is strangely reassuring when Castiel is uneasy.

Comments

[priorcommitment]

When Robin pipes up, Ishiah takes the opportunity to briefly rub his fingers against the ache in his brow, furrowed too long without relief. Robin's put a good voice to everything that Ishiah weighs in his mind right now, and it draws a curious distinction between himself and Castiel. With Mike, with the kitten some months ago, Castiel seems to place a strong value in the immediate and present sustenance of life.

It's a far cry from the strictly utilitarian view Ishiah has always had.

"Death is far from the worst possible outcome," he says, voice softer than before. "In fact, it is one of the most natural outcomes that exists. What needs to be maintained, however, is a balance. Life must be able to sustain itself on the whole. That's how I'm looking at it. I will work within your wishes however I can, but that is a consideration I only make because I consider you friends."

Pressing his hand briefly to his lips, Ishiah exhales. "Let me speak with Urahara Kisuke. I've yet to do so directly. My inclination to trust him is both because Dean has had a good experience with the other reaper, and because... there is a certain kind of wisdom that comes with dealing in death."

[godless_son]

Castiel's eyes drop closed at Robin's words, not trusting the treacherous way they sting. There are parts of being human that have lingered and he wishes emotional volatility were not one of them.

He nods at them both, feeling suddenly unmoored and uncertain when an hour ago he'd felt confident in what he'd wanted to do. He wants to look to Dean to know if he is truly doing the wrong thing, if he ought to hand over his own 'kill-switch' but he has caused this mess. It's not for Dean to clean up.

"I appreciate your help, Ishiah, and your council, Robin," he manages, steeling himself before opening his eyes.

"I truly do. I will return soon and we can practice the incantation you will require.

[always_enduphere]

Dean curls his hand against Castiel's nape, squeezing once before he levers himself to standing. Blood rushes to his head, and with it, all the things they're not saying.

Castiel may very well choose a road without Dean if he thinks it safest, just as Dean may well choose to save him no matter the cost. They both know it, and there's no point in arguing, and certainly not in front of Ishiah and Robin.

He holds out his hand to pull Castiel up with him. "Thanks," he echoes.