For Derek

[godless_son]

Derek says that the appointed time is 9pm, at his cabin and that for the third time, no Derek will not be in costume and yes, Castiel can call him Derek in public.

This still, after the third explanation made no sense to Castiel but he'd gotten the impression that if he kept pushing, Derek would not allow him to come. He wants to better understand, he needs to if he is to stop making Derek's lover so angry by asking questions. He thinks it is curiosity but according to reliable sources, it often presents as incredulity. He shrugs on his leather jacket, Dean insisting that he at least look semi cool if Castiel insists on his favorite, lavender sweater vest underneath and grabs his blade.

He flies into Derek's cabin at precisely 9pm, taking a moment to look around before opening the refrigerator, wondering what sort of food Derek stocks. He imagines Derek's kitchen to contain mostly meat and he wants to know if he is correct. Dean has always taken umbrage at Castiel's own organization and stocking of their own refrigerator and he's keen to see who is correct.

Comments

[godless_son]

"If things are good, and Barry keeps his children's snack here, then why aren't you living together?" he asks, not wanting to make Derek further elucidate on the different between hunting and what he just said when he still doesn't understand why the costume is only in play part of the time.

He's afraid Derek will kick him out.

"Barry would also be able to save money. And it doesn't matter where he lives because he can run to work."

[triskehale]

"I don't know, Cas," Derek replies, trying hard not to sound put upon. "It just hasn't happened yet, but he is here most of the time anyway."

Derek's brow knits slightly and he shrugs one shoulder, trying not to think about it too hard. "I'm new at this. I'm just sort of taking things as they come. But maybe."

[godless_son]

"If you don't know, you should ask him. Or tell him what you want. That is what I do with Dean," he points out, letting out a very human snort of mirth.

"If I did not do so, Dean and I would still be unmarried and living in the apartment. If I did not do so, Dean and I would likely not even be together. I recommend telling Barry what you want."

[triskehale]

"I don't have much of a problem talking to Barry about how I feel," Derek says in a tone that he's sure conveys just how surprised he is by that. It's hard for Derek to talk about his emotions to anyone, but with Barry it's always been easy. Barry knew his deepest secrets before they even started dating, because Derek knew early on that Barry was someone that he could trust. "When the timing's right, I'll ask him."

[godless_son]

"Hm, I've never understood how to determine that kind of timing," he admits, wondering exactly how someone would figure that out with Dean. Perhaps it is different with other people.

"Do you love him more than you loved the other people you have been with?"

[triskehale]

"Yes," he replies without hesitation, because that isn't even a question. Derek has been with very few people in any real capacity. He thought that he had loved Paige, and maybe he did in the dramatic way that teenagers without any real life experience love. With Kate, he was just a stupid, grief-stricken teenage boy and with Stiles, well-- it was important and real but it wasn't love.

He's never known love like this before Barry. The thought makes him smile, and he doesn't even mind that Castiel sees such a vulnerable moment. He can see into his soul, anyway. There's no real point in hiding.

"He practically lives here anyway," Derek says, looking particularly pleased by the thought.

[godless_son]

"Good," he says, as always baffled by the idea of loving more than one person and glad that Barry (for all Castiel seems to not get along with him) is Derek's best love.

He wouldn't be able to stand the idea of being a relationship that was otherwise.

"Well, then, it seems to be that cohabitation and eventually marriage would be the next obvious steps. I am glad for you. You smile much, much more than you used to."

[triskehale]

He flushes at the idea of marriage, something that for so long seemed wildly unattainable, and then flushes further still at Castiel's observation. He does smile more, and sometimes he feels like a whole new man entirely.

"I have a lot more to smile about," he offers, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. "Thanks, Cas."