For Neil

[godless_son]

Castiel ought to have called first, he realizes as he lands outside of Neil's house. It is somewhat late, the girls are likely in bed and he could very well be interrupting the entire household.

Perhaps Neil is used to it by now.

He knocks rather than simply flying in, at least one lesson learned.

He needs council, he needs simply to tell someone what has occurred and to see if what he thinks he understands is anywhere close to correct.

Comments

[likeaplanet]

I'm in the kitchen, putting away dishes, when there's a gentle knock at the door. It could be anyone, really. Even out here, outside the city, we get a fair number of nighttime visitors.

"Yeah, I'm comin'," I murmur, drying off my hands and hushing the dog when he starts to whine.

Blocking the door with my foot-- Max has taken to slipping out when we're not paying attention, I open it and then step back to let Cas inside. One of the last times he was here this time of night, he tried to kill me in the kitchen. Maybe that oughta make me wary, but it doesn't.

"I still haven't gotten used to you knocking."

[godless_son]

Castiel nods, stepping inside as he takes in the seemingly empty main room.

"I'm sorry to come without notice but I need...I don't know. I need to tell you something that happened and see if you can make sense of it."

[likeaplanet]

"It's fine, man. Mike's upstairs with the girls," I say, jerking a nod toward the stairs as I shut the door behind him.

"Sit down. You wanna a drink or somethin'?"

[godless_son]

"No," he replies succinctly, perching on the edge of the couch. "Dean and I have made the decision to purchase the small house in the country. We'd gone there to celebrate and to have sex in the backyard. He proposed marriage."

[likeaplanet]

I'm halfway into the living room when I freeze, mid-step, because I wasn't really expecting that.

"Whoa, wait a minute, what?" I say, grinning crookedly, 'cause I'd kind of assumed Dean would never get his shit together enough for something like that. Which is kind of awful, and probably makes me a bad friend or whatever, but he's just been so fucked up since he got here.

[godless_son]

"Yes, he did," he says with a grimace, squirming as he tries to decide how to explain. "He made it sound like the motivation was primarily to gain an improved credit rating which I was dubious about. When I questioned him, he could not tell me if it was something he wanted and mentioned that he felt he owed it to me to 'do it right'. When I asked him again if it was something he wanted he changed his mind and took back the proposal."

He clasps his hands, frowning down at the floor. "We then had sex, which was very good. But I would have said yes."

[likeaplanet]

"Jesus Christ," I say, the smile dropping off my face as I come over and sink down onto the couch next to him.

"So wait, was it a spur of the moment thing, or did he plan it?"

[godless_son]

"I do not know," he murmurs, still staring down at the floor, brow furrowed as he yet again regrets his inability to understand these types of situations as well as he'd like.

"He was naked at the time, which leads me to believe it wasn't planned. I had never given any thought to marriage prior to that moment but I have thought of little else since. I don't know if he really wanted it or not," he admits, raising his head to meet Neil's gaze.

[likeaplanet]

"Man, I kinda doubt he'd have brought it up outta fuckin' obligation," I point out, trying to imagine what a fuckin' disaster that entire conversation was.

Marry me for the tax breaks? Jesus fuckin' Christ.

"He loves you, he's just... You know him, man. I mean, I love the guy, but he's a fuckin' disaster."

[godless_son]

"It is not at all beyond the realm of possibility that Dean would do something out of a sense of obligation," he huffs, unable to really defend Dean against Neil's comment.

"The house is an enormous leap of faith for him, in us and in life in general. But I think I understand the allure of marriage. Humans cannot enter into true covenant with each other. This is the closest you have. It is sacred."

[likeaplanet]

"When Logan asked me, we were playin' pool in the common room."

I know he doesn't remember all that much about the island, but he might be able to remember the Compound. It wasn't exactly romantic.

"We didn't know what the fuck we were doin'. It wasn't sacred. It was like... Well, we're already living together, we might as well do this next."

It wasn't all bad. But in the end, there wasn't a whole lot of good in the decision, either.

"But sometimes it is, yeah. Me and Mike are in this for good. You and Dean... It seems like it's the same, for you."

[godless_son]

"It is," he says firmly, eyes locked on Neil's. "I want Dean or I want nothing, it is how I am built. But more than that, it is what Dean has made of me, simply by being himself. I am entirely at his mercy as long as he wants me. And he is a good partner, he makes me feel that I am wanted. I think...I think I would like to be married to him."

[likeaplanet]

"So, tell him all that, and don't let him get all fuckin' weird about it," I say, "Even if it isn't right away, you can start talking about it."

Stretching out on the couch, I cross my ankles across his lap, mostly because I can.

"You better make me best man, though. Otherwise, I'm gonna be pissed."

[godless_son]

Castiel frowns down at Neil's legs but ultimately does nothing as he did ambush him on a weeknight.

"Perhaps I will try and find a good time, a lull in the madness if you will. But I am not sure what I would want as a ceremony. I just want to be married to him, legally. I want it recognized by the highest authority a human can provide."

He slumps back against the couch with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling. "How did you and Mike become engaged?"

[likeaplanet]

"Good luck findin' a lull," I snort, 'cause I keep waiting for one of those, but they're always so quick, I hardly have time to recognize that they've happened before another wave of shit comes along.

"Uh... Well, I mean, the first time, it was Mike and Tom and me... They both took me down to the beach and we talked about doin' it. All three of us decided it was what we wanted. And here, we just kinda decided to, 'cause we weren't even sure if the marriage we had on the island was legal. Went down to the courthouse without much fuss, on a weekday."