For Dean - HGTV

[godless_son]

Castiel is very fond of the apartment, he is.

It has been, essentially, his first home primarily because it is his first home with Dean. He's learned to cook, learned about what deems a movie 'good' or 'bad' (although his love of Disney and Romantic Comedies stays strong), fought with Dean here, had sex nearly everywhere and made a new family for himself.

The problem is that the apartment holds constant reminders of other memories. The new bedroom carpet that was installed because the volume of blood was too high to ever be removed. The dark stain in the living floor where cleaning supplies could not entirely remove the sigils that had set in for hours. The missing dining room table and chairs. The small crack in the wall where he'd tossed Dean without care. Ernest's food bowl which had remained empty for two days before he returned home from his escape out the broken windows. These are all things he's not sure he or Dean should have to live with any longer and in his current state, things he cannot even fix.

He cautiously opens the computer the University had insisted he take home and types in 'how do I buy a house in Darrow' and follows the trail. He has never paid much attention to his salary or money in general other than to assume Dean takes the appropriate amount out of their joint account to pay for the apartment but quick math reveals that they could afford something small. Something perhaps on the edge of the city where it is a little more quiet and a little more open. He traces a finger over a small, blue house. It looks a little run down and as if it could use some care. Perhaps that is something they could do together.

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[always_enduphere]

He's later than he means to be.

Practicing with Rukia fills up much of Dean's time these days, and he's happy to let it, eager to learn in a way he hasn't been in a long time. For once, the fight is new again, doors of possibility opening up on every side of him. It's heady, and it's hard to quit.

When Dean finally lets himself into the apartment, Castiel is seated at the table, no sign that he's made any headway on dinner despite the hour. "Hey," says Dean with a guilty smile, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the tense line of Castiel's throat. "Whatcha doing?"

[godless_son]

Castiel sucks in a sharp breath at Dean's touch, still unused to his limited awareness. His fingers twitch, uncertain if he ought to show him, if it's something that Dean is ready to consider.

"I was looking at real estate," he murmurs, quickly minimizing the screen before tilting his head up for a proper kiss. "I was not sure how much houses cost, here. Did you have fun?"

[always_enduphere]

"Yeah," Dean admits, his smile tired but genuine. "Sort of feels like I'm bad at everything still, but I'm starting to see it. What all I can do now, what I'll be able to."

Sitting down across from Castiel, Dean cracks his back. "And I think houses cost the same as they do back home. A lot, but some are cheaper than others."

[godless_son]

"I know very little about what it is she does. That on its own interests me, greatly," he says, sliding the computer over.

"What about a house like that? One that isn't quite so perfect."

[always_enduphere]

Dean looks at the screen, scrolling through the pictures and the numbers. The place is kind of a dump, truth be told, but there's potential there, if they put work into it.

Dean looks back to Cas. "Is this something you want?"

[godless_son]

Castiel presses his lips together before gesturing to a corner of the living room, the one with the stained floor and cracked plaster.

"I remember everything with such precise clarity and I'm not certain the memory will ever fade," he says, turning wide eyes back on Dean.

"This felt like the only place I could find peace every day. And now I just...there is no peace without you, of course. It's just a thought. But not if you prefer to remain here."

[always_enduphere]

Dean looks around the wreck of their apartment. The floors and walls are scrubbed, the windows boarded, but the aftermath of that horrible day is everywhere.

"I have good memories here," says Dean after a moment. "Some of the best of my life. But I've got some bad ones, too."

He turns the laptop towards him, scrolling back to see the other houses. "You really want a house instead? It's a lot more work than an apartment. More bills, and a yard to care for, all kinds of stuff your landlord usually does for you in an apartment."

[godless_son]

"I don't think I would mind yard work. I think I would like a garden," he offers, carefully watching Dean's face. "But Dean, there is no ultimatum here. If you want to stay here, I am not going to push you out of your home. Is a house something you have ever wanted for yourself?"

[always_enduphere]

"I don't really care where I live," says Dean, distracted as he scrolls through the homes. "Long as you're there, and Annie. The cats," he adds after a moment more. "They'd probably dig country life. Chasing mice and all. It's more than a yard, though."

Dean looks up. "Anything that breaks is on us."

[godless_son]

"My grace will return and beyond that I can learn to fix things. We hardly live beyond on our means as it is. I'm not sure either of us would know what to buy if we tried," Castiel says with a short sigh. He pushes himself up and wanders over to the kitchen, aware that he'd forgotten it was his night to cook and wonders if that is not itself a sign he is not quite as ready for true domesticity as he'd thought. Canned soup is hardly what he'd meant to prepare for Dean.

"I have this vision of us as old men on a porch somewhere, both human and happy. I suppose there is no need to rush it."

They can patch the wall and replace the windows and perhaps with enough time, he'll stop feeling so entirely shaken.

[always_enduphere]

"No need to stay here, either," says Dean, "Not if you don't want to." He levers himself upward, following Castiel into the kitchen.

"Speaking of, how's your wings? You feeling any better after that spell?"

[godless_son]

"It is a little like a broken bone, it is healing but still damaged. It will return. The dreams are worse."

He grabs at Dean's arm, wrapping it around his waist as he leans back against his chest. "I do want a house. I want space and quiet and I'd like to have a porch and possibly a pet rabbit. But it has been a difficult few months, we can wait. All I truly need is to be with you."

[always_enduphere]

"Cats'll eat a rabbit," Dean murmurs, distracted as he integrates the idea of a house into their life in Darrow. It's been a while since he wanted that for himself, and it'd be a big change - a permanence like Dean's never had, but it could be good.

"I can call those blue house people. See if we can come by."

[godless_son]

Castiel turns around and cups Dean's jaw, just staring for a moment as he marvels at the kind of man, the kind of partner he is. Castiel knows he is not easy to be with and that Dean is once again so willing to try and make him happy is yet another mark of the quality of his soul.

He pushes suddenly forward, kissing Dean hard as he wraps and arm around his back. "You make me very happy," he murmurs against his mouth.

[always_enduphere]

Dean mmphs but slides his arm around Castiel's waist, mouth opening beneath his. "Yeah, I know," he says against Castiel's lips. "Give you a couple of animals and a rickety ass house...You're easy."

[godless_son]

"I am anything but easy but I am exceedingly content when I am with you because you are a very good partner, Dean Winchester," he counters, sliding his rougher than usual cheek against Dean's as he tightens his hold. "Having a house that is ours, one that has already sheltered families is appealing to me. Thank you for understanding that."